Back story: Chickens, groundhogs and airplanes

I’m about to go out the kitchen door onto the back deck when I notice a furry little nose starting to peek over the top step from the yard at a height of about five feet. When the eyes make it over the top, the baby groundhog spots me, turns around and slowly retreats down the steps. It stops mid-lawn to see if I am in pursuit. I am not, so it ambles the fifty feet or so to the back fence and disappears.

The next day I look out back and spy two baby groundhogs greeting each other. One of them is wagging its tail like a dog. They are happy to see each other. I step out onto the deck and they split in opposite directions, one of them going under our deck, presumably into the burrow along the foundation. Apparently, they are already on their own as no parents are in sight. So much for the super-sonic groundhog chaser I installed. A number of the Blog’s readers have asked if it really works. After sufficient testing, I have to say the answer is “no.”

Three times today, I have had to chase the same young, but full-grown groundhog out of Chickenland. They are getting bolder. I almost walked right up to him before he deigned to leave. He was busy eating. We have finally been overrun. This afternoon, I scolded the chickens for not being more aggressive with them. If they go after them, the groundhogs will leave. I have seen it in the past. But this lot is lackadaisical, preferring to watch while the big, fat bums eat their food.

To make matters worse, while I was out there early this morning, an airplane started flying low over the house for the second day in a row. With the help of some Blog readers, I finally realized that this was the gypsy moth spraying that I had reported would happen in a Blog post a week or two ago. After two days, I figured it was some angry Blog reader seeking revenge. I told Amy, “I’m not paranoid. Why else would a plane fly over the house exactly every three minutes.”

Later, she called me from the bank. “You, idiot,” she said. “You know what that plane was doing..?”

“Yeah, yeah, I know. Some of the Blog readers tipped me off,” I said.

“He was spraying, you idiot,” she went on undeterred.

So distracted am I by recent events in the backyard, I have decided to give my weekly chicken column a rest for a few weeks. I’m actually thinking about raising groundhogs. Why not go with the flow. What do you call a group of groundhogs, a pack?

The backyard pack… It has a nice ring to it.