Back Story: My dog thinks the TV is a window

Eyes are windows on the soul, they say. The television is a window on the world, my dog says, an open window, through which untold evil may enter our home.

We first noticed the problem when she was the size of a loaf of Wonder Bread. She was laying on the floor looking up at the TV. A segment came on depicting a ski jumper rocketing down a ski jump from the upper right corner of our 50" screen to the lower left. When he jumped, he disappeared from the picture. To the lower left side of our set is a large bay window. The puppy started barking furiously and ran to the window to see where the skier had gone. We were amused. But, the situation has gone downhill from there.

I've had cats that would sit on top of the TV and swat at the screen, as if perched on a fishbowl. That's about the closest thing I have seen to a pet that actually watches the picture. God help us if an animal comes on; Suki growls, barks and attacks. Fortunately, the set is up high on a cabinet that serves as a wine rack and a shelf for the Blue Ray player. When she hits like a hockey player crashing the boards with the full force of her 38 lbs., she knocks the DVR box back, sometimes turning it on, causing the TV to display the opening message, "Insert disk." Hopefully, at 14 months, she isn't going to get any bigger.

Have you ever noticed how many animals are portrayed on television for all sorts of reasons? The advertisements are heavily populated with all manner of species, mostly dogs and cats. Even animations get her attention. The one with the GEICO Gecko crossing the Brooklyn Bridge drives her bananas. God forbid we try to watch the PBS show, "Nature." Even still photos get her ire. You know the one they constantly show on the local news of a panther, illustrating the story about supposed sightings in our area..? Judging from her reaction, that panther better stay away from our backyard.

She also barks at security video, cruiser cam video, burglars, muggers, acts of violence, surreptitious characters in hiding, people wearing hoods, gun shots, accidents, fires and explosions. But she likes football...

Amused..? Imagine you were us. Sometimes we will shut the TV off in frustration in the middle of one of our favorite shows. I have resorted to watching television on my laptop and even reading more. But we live in a small house. The television and the dog are inescapable. And let's face it, the damned thing really is a window on the world. And the dog doesn't like what she is seeing.