Spam Part II

Salami Kabore stopped writing to me after my Blog post of February 2. Either he was annoyed by what I said about him, or he has given up on trying to get my attention. In any event, as promised in that post, I let the messages in my Yahoo spam file for my gunchpress@yahoo.com account build up for three weeks. During that time, it accumulated 125 messages. There follows a list of those that caught my attention:

• Andrew Mensah - business proposal
• MR AHMED KADIRI - TREAT THIS TRANSACTION CONFIDENTIAL.
• David Hunt - Claim As Next Of Kin
• stanley - Dear Friend,
• ©Web Unit - Irish 2010 Grant Winner
• garuba usman - WITH DUE RESPECT
• Mr Usman Kamal - Compliments of the season,
• Mr Laad Faraba - TOP STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL
• UK NATIONAL LOTTERY - DEAR WINNER
• Salam Sudu - Confidential Respond,
• RICHARD AGESE - FROM MR RICHARD AGESE CHAMBERS
• Mr Idrissa Ahmed - FROM THE DESK OF MR IDRISSA AHMED
• Miss Charity - Dearest,
• mark kabore - I am expecting your urgent response
• Obillo Uche - this money can be shared in the ratio of 60/40
• Mr Yacubu Ahmed - VERY SECRET AND CONFIDENTIAL.
• Alice Idrissa - MY Dear,This From Mrs.Alice Idrissa Toyo,
• sam mohammed - YOUR URGENT REPLY IS NEEDED, GOD BLESS
• Hellena Helder Proenca - Hello Dear
• Zenab Justin - Beloved,
• Dr.Abu Ali - TREAT VERY CONFIDENTIAL & URGENT RESPONSE.
• UK NATIONAL LOTTERY - FINAL NOTIFICATION
• amina kipkalya - PLEASE I NEED YOUR HELP.
• Mr.Song Lile - Buisness Proposal
• Dr.Malik Ali - HOW CAN I TRUST YOU?
• Mr Mitchell Lemon – HOPE YOU ARE FINE?
• Mr Asim Dabire - CONTACT MY SECRETARY NOW
• Augustine Daran - A BENEFITING MESSAGE
• muhammed - I NEED A RESPOSIBLE MANAGER

Among the subject lines that got my heart rate up and made me feel the need to reply immediately were: TREAT THIS TRANSACTION CONFIDENTIAL; TOP STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL; VERY SECRET AND CONFIDENTIAL; Confidential Respond, YOUR URGENT REPLY IS NEEDED, GOD BLESS; FINAL NOTIFICATION; and TREAT VERY CONFIDENTIAL & URGENT RESPONSE. Much like that junk (snail) mail I get in brown envelopes that look like they’re from the IRS, anything that is official sounding just begs to be opened, such as the one “FROM MR RICHARD AGESE CHAMBERS.” But for the grammar, I might have opened that one.

I suppose grammar isn’t all that important in subject lines, but these made me chuckle, anyway: Confidential Respond ; A BENEFITING MESSAGE; PLEASE I NEED YOUR HELP; TREAT VERY CONFIDENTIAL & URGENT RESPONSE; and HOPE YOU ARE FINE?

At least two writers weren’t sure how they felt about me: HOPE YOU ARE FINE? and HOW CAN I TRUST YOU? But one writer claimed me as his “next of kin, and many of them thought I was a “winner” and a “dear friend.” And I heard from both Mr. and Mrs. Mr Idrissa. That’s weird. I hope Mr. Idrissa doesn’t find out, because his other half seemed to be cozying up to me with "MY Dear."

And then there are the business proposals, either straight forward or thinly veiled: Business Proposal (2); this money can be shared in the ratio of 60/40; CONTACT MY SECRETARY NOW; and I NEED A RESPOSIBLE MANAGER.

As I mentioned at the top, these were deposited by Yahoo into the spam folder of my Gunch Press account. After 30 days, they are erased. That’s the way Yahoo handles spam. I feel I have to go through all the spam in order to catch the odd message that ends up in there by mistake. It happens.

My other account with Yahoo, vwhervey@yahoo.com, gets a very different class of spam – no messages from Salami Kabore or the Idrissas. During the same month, it accumulated only 25 messages, mostly for Viagara and a variety of other medications related to aging. It makes me wonder how this spam stuff works. Could it be that AARP sold them my email address? I wouldn’t be surprised.

Related post: Spam